There’s a saying that’s become very meaningful to me in recent years: “Invest in loss.” I learned it in T’ai Chi pushing-hands, but it’s just a pithy way of saying, “learn from your mistakes.”
In pushing-hands, you and your partner/opponent vie to push one another off balance or out of a solid stance. If you get pushed out of your stance, you lose—and in T’ai Chi practice, this is considered a great gift. Counterintuitive, right?
But consider: When you lose, you have a chance to learn. If you’re willing to shelve your annoyance and invest some time analyzing, you can learn where your stance was weak and what technique was used to push you out of it. You can, if you choose, emerge from a loss smarter and stronger than before.
Same goes for life. Let’s say you suffer a loss, like getting laid off from a job. You could, and probably did, spend a great deal of energy bemoaning your fate and cursing the hand that pushed you out the door. That’s fine; there’s nothing wrong with the healthy expression of frustration. But now it’s time to invest.
What does this loss teach you? Look at yourself first. Analyze where your stance was weak. Do you lack skills the organization needed? Was your performance or your attitude lackluster? Did you fail at office politics? Be honest in identifying your weak points. These are things you can change to strengthen your position for the next round.
This process can be tough on the ego, no question. But you have to invest if you want to reap dividends.
Then look at your partner, the company that laid you off. What can you change about it? Nothing? All right, then. Move on.
Again, tough on the ego. Admitting you’re powerless over something can make you feel weak and vulnerable, and maybe you are. But you’re smarter, now, too.
Small loss, small gain
“Invest in loss” has a companion adage: “Small loss, small gain; big loss, big gain.” In other words, the bigger your loss, the bigger your opportunity to learn from it.
When I got laid off the first time, I already had my next gig lined up. I rushed right back into the same kind of job with a new company. I wasn’t excited about the work or the organization, but hey! It was a job! I did not invest in that first loss. I just repeated the same old weak stance in a new location.
When the second pink slip appeared 16 months later, it was a huge loss. I had not seen it coming. I had no backup plan. With nothing but time on my hands, I had nothing to do but invest in building a better future. I invested time in looking for a truly good fit for my next venture. I invested energy in networking and interviewing. I invested money in a career coach who helped me acknowledge my true talents, interests, and working style. (Turns out my stubborn, independent streak, while an albatross for a cube-farm dweller, is just what a freelancer needs.)
The gain from those investments has been huge. As a freelance writer and editor, I now do work I enjoy in environments I find comfortable with people I like. I’ve never been happier—and it took a huge shove out the corporate door for me to get here.
It’s not easy. Change and growth never are. But if you invest in loss, you will create gain. Don’t waste energy pushing something that won’t move. Push yourself to move forward.
Image by: Simone Becque
September 16th, 2008 at 4:56 pm
Interesting analogy with the T’ai Chi. Well done.
September 16th, 2008 at 9:42 pm
Many things to ponder in your article. So many people take a job because it’s a job — you’ve properly said that’s wrong. Do what you like and like what you do — and be a happier camper. Congrats on getting it figured out.
September 17th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
I have been in the field of Human Resources for over 20 years. During that time, I have learned that previously laid off individuals can make the BEST employees. When I interview, I look to see if persons looking for work have learned and grown from professional and/or personal adversity. This will tell me if an individual is seasoned, capable of learning, willing to change and capable of engaging in healthy risk taking. I can train anyone to perform a required technical skill. What I can’t do is effectively provide the tempering that failure or difficulty can provide. The idea of “invest in loss” is key to to the kind of experience I am looking for. Great article!!
September 17th, 2008 at 10:22 pm
While reading the article, I did not discern your stubborn, independent streak….. and
that’s a good thing. Enjoyed the article ! But even more, I enjoy being retired and not
having to endure any job interviews. Keep up the GOOD WORK !!
September 18th, 2008 at 8:31 am
Great article! I am now realizing that I too jumped right back into a “job” after my lay off just becuase it was a job. I am now looking again (what a pain) but this time I will at least look a little harder to find a good fit, rather than just a paycheck. I will invest more time to see where I went wrong with the job I chose.
September 18th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
Very interesting reading! I like the analogy and the way you presented it. Many of us could learn from the article, as well as the posts that have followed it. Good work!
September 23rd, 2008 at 7:47 pm
The true survivors in the world are those who take adversity in stride and allow it to become a life changing, character building event. You’ve handled it well.
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