Laid off 101

Sound advice from the cheeky humor writer Douglas Adams. And although we’re not quite hurtling through space after the alien demolition of planet earth, being out of work can certainly feel like the end of the world at times.

It’s easy to be overwhelmed. Unemployment can trigger anxieties in a variety of ways, but it’s important not to let the details get the better of us and keep a rational outlook on the situation as a whole. A first step towards getting life back to where we want it is to reassess the situation and recognize what might have gone (or might still be going) wrong.

Well, there’s the obvious, right? No job = no income. It is often the aftershocks and slippery slope thinking, however, that tend to really get us down. We all have responsibilities and obligations, and when our ability to live up to those pressures is threatened, our gut reactions may not always be positive or productive. Maybe it’s making rent that’s most worrisome, or providing proper meals and care for the family. Even the sudden change from being busy all day long to having nowhere in particular to go and nothing in particular that must be done can leave us feeling a bit lost, lonely, and unimportant. It’s natural to experience some heavy stress over such issues, but it is also at points like these that we should question our responses and reactions to shortcomings.

Ask: “Am I helping or further hurting the situation? Could my actions actually be making things worse?”  

True, the bulk of our woes are out of our hands, but our responses to hard times are what we do have control over. While losing a job doesn’t hardly compare to experiencing a death in one’s life, Kubler-Ross’ grieving model can still loosely be applied to the process that the laid-off go through. Let’s run down a quick hypothetical scenario of a recent cut-back victim, and how each phase might be dealt with.

Denial: “But I’m a respected mid-to-senior level experienced professional—someone has to pay me!”

o     Wrong, unfortunately—on the latter account, at least. Sure would be great if life got easier with age, though, and kind, deserving folks like us were each guaranteed an inalterable slice of the American Dream. This might be a good time to have another look at that table summary.

Anger: “I’ve worked for this company for (some odd number) years! I’ve put my heart and soul   into it and this is the thanks I get?”

o     Okay, we could see that reaction coming. Even if it doesn’t get vocalized (and it’s probably best not to), it’d be unsurprising to find similar thoughts running through our minds.

Bargaining: “What about that guy you just hired last year—why not him instead?

o     About four minutes after we make those heated pleas, they’re often found to be in poor taste and irrelevant. That dead horse still won’t do much traveling.

Depression: “I’ll never get back to where I was. I’ll be unemployed forever. I’ll be that medusa-looking woman in a tattered robe and slippers. Children will cry when they see me coming. Homeless folks will start dropping coins into my coffee cup. It might be me living in a van down by the river before long!”

o     There’s that slippery slope—that three days away from doomsday woebegone mentality. Now, there’s no need to batter ourselves further and feel guilty for having those thoughts to begin with, but we should realize that even if there is the tiniest bit of truth to those thoughts, dwelling on them will only lead us deeper in the hole.

Acceptance: Remember, I did say loosely.

o      Clearly, we have to accept the reality of being out of work, but that doesn’t mean we should become that thing on the couch or that crazy lady on the street. Life isn’t over, yet!

Alright, so some of us aren’t as dramatic as all of that, but remnants of those feelings can affect anyone in a similar situation. While there are no correct, infallible solutions to getting back on track with our careers, we can at least think proactively, run some financial damage control back at the home front, and find fun, inexpensive ways to bide our time and keep our spirits up until we catch that next break.

If you haven’t already, go read Kim’s inspiring Invest in Loss article, and check back for upcoming tips and resources on living frugally and making the most of unemployment.

Image by: Footlamp